Free Thursday 7PM-8PM Grief Group

Grief is a universal yet deeply personal experience, a natural response to loss that can feel isolating, overwhelming, and even disorienting. Whether mourning the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship, or a life-altering change, grief invites us to confront vulnerability in its rawest form. In these moments, self-compassion—the practice of extending kindness, understanding, and patience to oneself—becomes a vital anchor. 

Unlike self-criticism, which amplifies suffering, self-compassion acknowledges pain without judgment, creating space for healing. It is not about "moving on" but about honoring your humanity with the same empathy you might offer a hurting friend. By embracing self-compassion, we transform grief from a solitary struggle into a shared human experience, fostering resilience and gradual renewal.  

• Harsh Self-Criticism
  Blaming oneself for the loss (e.g., “I should have done more” or “It’s my fault”).  
• Emotional Suppression
  Judging or shaming oneself for grieving (e.g., “I’m weak for crying” or “I shouldn’t feel this way”).  
• Self-Isolation
  Avoiding support because they feel undeserving of care or empathy.  
• Neglecting Basic Needs
  Skipping meals, sleep, or hygiene due to beliefs like “I don’t matter anymore.”  
• Minimising Their Pain
  Comparing their grief to others’ (e.g., “Others have it worse—I shouldn’t complain”).  
• Punishing Self for “Moving On”
  Guilt over moments of joy or progress (e.g., “How dare I laugh when they’re gone?”).  
• Perfectionism in Healing  
  Setting unrealistic expectations (e.g., “I should be over this by now”).  
• Avoiding Vulnerability
  Refusing to acknowledge grief to avoid seeming “needy” or “burdensome.”  
• Physical Exhaustion
  Overworking or overexerting to “earn” rest, leading to burnout.  
• Feeling Undeserving of Support
  Rejecting help or kindness, believing they “don’t deserve” comfort.  

• Counteracts Self-Judgment: Grief often triggers guilt or shame ("Why am I not coping better?"). Self-compassion replaces criticism with curiosity, reducing emotional exhaustion. 
• Promotes Emotional Resilience: Studies show self-compassionate individuals process grief more adaptively, experiencing less depression and anxiety. 
• Fosters Connection: Acknowledging shared human suffering ("I’m not alone") combats isolation. 
• Prevents Avoidance: Gentle self-acceptance allows suppressed emotions to surface, preventing long-term psychological harm. 

• Self-Compassionate Letter Writing
  Purpose: Reframe self-criticism into kindness by "dialoguing" with your pain.
  Steps: Sit quietly and reflect on your grief. Notice any self-judgments.
  Write a letter to yourself as a compassionate friend. Example:
  "Dear [Your Name], I see how much you’re hurting. It’s okay to feel lost. You loved deeply, and that pain is a testament to that love. You deserve patience."
  Read the letter aloud, letting the words soothe you. 

• Mindful Body Scan for Emotional Release
  Purpose: Locate and release grief stored in the body.
  Steps: Lie down, close your eyes, and take 3 deep breaths.
  Slowly scan from head to toe. Notice areas of tension (e.g., heaviness in the chest).
  Breathe into those spots. Whisper, "It’s safe to feel this. I’m here with you." 

• Loving-Kindness Meditation (Metta)
  Purpose: Cultivate warmth toward yourself and others.
  Steps: Repeat silently:
  "May I be safe. May I be kind to myself. May I accept my grief as it is."
  Gradually extend wishes to others:
  "May anyone grieving feel held. May we all find peace."

• Creating a Self-Compassion Ritual
  Purpose: Honor loss while nurturing yourself.
  Steps: Choose a daily ritual: Light a candle, journal, or sit in nature.
  Set an intention: "Today, I hold space for my grief without rushing it."
  Conclude with gratitude: "Thank you, heart, for carrying this love.

• The "What Would I Say to a Friend?" Exercise
  Purpose: Challenge harsh self-talk with empathy.
  Steps: Write down self-critical thoughts (e.g., "I’m failing at grieving").
  Imagine a friend in your situation. What would you tell them?
  Rewrite the thoughts compassionately: "Grief isn’t linear. You’re doing your best." 

Grief is not a problem to solve but a journey to tend to with tenderness. By practicing self-compassion, you honor your loss without letting it define your worth. Each small act of kindness—a deep breath, a forgiving thought—becomes a step toward healing. Remember: You are not broken for grieving. You are human, and in that humanity lies the capacity to heal.