Free Thursday 7PM-8PM Grief Group

Grief is a deeply personal and transformative journey, often marked by waves of sorrow, longing, and even moments of unexpected lightness. For many, the emergence of joy during grief can feel like a betrayal—a sign that they are "moving on" or forgetting their loss. Yet, the truth is more compassionate: grief and joy are not mutually exclusive. They coexist as part of the human capacity to hold complexity. 

Allowing yourself to experience joy amid grief is not a dismissal of pain but an act of resilience. It honors the fullness of life, even in the shadow of loss. This process, though challenging, is a vital step in embracing growth, where healing is not about erasing grief but expanding your heart to carry both love and loss.  

• Stagnation in Pain
  Remaining "stuck" in the same emotional state long after the loss, with no sense of progress or healing. 
• Resistance to Change
  Rejecting new routines, relationships, or opportunities that could foster adaptation or meaning. 
• Persistent Victim Mentality
  Viewing themselves solely as a victim of circumstance, unable to reclaim agency or hope. 
• Lack of Meaning-Making
  Refusing to explore lessons, purpose, or connections arising from the loss (e.g., “Nothing good can come from this”). 
• Cynicism About the Future
  Dismissing possibilities for joy or growth (e.g., “I’ll never feel happiness again”). 
• Avoidance of New Experiences
  Declining activities, hobbies, or relationships that might challenge their grief narrative. 
• Self-Sabotage
  Undermining progress (e.g., quitting therapy, rejecting support) when growth feels threatening. 
• Idealising the Past
  Fixating on "how things were" to avoid confronting the potential for a redefined future. 
• Emotional Rigidity
  Resisting vulnerability or introspection, often masked by statements like, “I’m fine—no need to talk.” 
• Neglecting Self-Development
  Abandoning personal goals, education, or self-care that could foster resilience or renewal. 

Growth in grief does not mean “moving on” but integrating loss into life in a way that allows for forward motion. These symptoms often reflect fear of losing connection to the deceased, guilt about healing, or mistrust in the possibility of a meaningful future. Gentle encouragement to explore small, manageable steps (e.g., journaling, trying a new ritual, or volunteering) can help reignite curiosity and agency.

Suppressing joy to "stay loyal" to grief can lead to emotional stagnation, prolonging suffering. Embracing moments of lightness:  

• Supports Holistic Healing: Grief impacts mind, body, and spirit; joy restores balance.  
• Honors Your Loved One: Living fully is a testament to the love you shared.  
• Builds Emotional Resilience: Practicing self-compassion in grief strengthens your capacity to navigate future challenges.  
• Prevents Complicated Grief: Chronic guilt can trap you in cycles of despair, while joy fosters integration of loss.  

Permission Slips: Writing Your Way to Freedom  

Purpose: Externalize guilt and consciously grant yourself permission to feel joy.  

Steps:  

• Write down a recent moment of joy that triggered guilt (e.g., "I laughed with a friend and felt guilty").  
• On a new page, write a "permission slip": "I allow myself to feel joy because ______." (e.g., "…it reminds me I’m still alive and capable of love").  
• Place these slips where you’ll see them daily (mirror, phone background).  

Joy Journaling: Reframing the Narrative  

Purpose: Normalise joy as part of grief by documenting small moments.  

Steps:  

• Each day, jot down one thing that brought you lightness (a sunset, a song, a memory).  
• Add a brief reflection: "This moment mattered because ______."  
• Over time, reread entries to see how joy and grief coexist without erasing each other.  

Rituals of Connection: Bridging Love and Loss  

Purpose: Create intentional practices that honor your loved one while embracing joy.  

Steps:  

• Choose an activity your loved one enjoyed (e.g., cooking their favorite meal, listening to their music).  
• Before beginning, light a candle or say aloud: "I carry you with me in this moment of joy."  
• Reflect afterward: How did this ritual help you feel connected?  

Compassionate Self-Talk: Challenging Guilt  

Purpose: Replace self-criticism with empathy.  

Steps:  

• When guilt arises, pause and name it: "This is guilt, not truth."  
• Use a mantra: "My joy does not diminish my love. It honors it."  
• Imagine advising a friend: What would you say to someone feeling guilty for laughing? Speak those words to yourself.  

Shared Joy Meditation: Visualising Acceptance  

Purpose: Reconnect with the belief that your loved one would want your happiness.  

Steps:  

• Sit quietly and visualize your loved one’s face. Recall a time they expressed care for you.  
• Imagine telling them, "I’m learning to hold joy alongside missing you." Picture their supportive response.  
• Visualise sharing a joyful moment with them (e.g., laughing together). Notice sensations of warmth or relief. 

 Grief is not a wall between you and joy but a bridge to a more layered, compassionate understanding of life. By allowing space for both sorrow and lightness, you honor the depth of your love and the resilience of your spirit. Growth in grief is not about "getting over" loss but learning to carry it with grace—and letting joy be a gentle companion on the journey.